Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Here are some random snaps of my life of late....
love a bright red pedicure in January!
Bought a bright red wreath ($11, thank you very much end of Christmas clearance sales) to brighten up the house (much like my toes) and match the winter urns that are a pop of pretty in dreary January!
Monday, January 28, 2013
Limefreckle Jr. had a snow day today! I think I love snow days almost as much as he does, because it means I don't have to rush around and drive him to school (we live about 1/2 hour drive away from his school, no buses available.) We had slushy, rainy snow last night, which left the roads a bit of a mess, so the school was closed.
Lately Limefreckle Jr. has been missing our old house a lot. We used to live over 1 hour away from his school, which made the drive every day pretty hard on me. Not to mention I had to hang around in the city that his school was, because if I were to go home I would end up driving approximately 4 hours per day, and that was just too much. I used to find plenty to do, volunteered at the school, joined a gym, did some personal training....but it was hard, so about 2 years ago we decided to move closer.
Everyone in the family loved our new house, Limefreckle Jr. was happy to move, I remember thinking at the time that he was handling the move with too much ease......however recently he has been talking a lot about our old home. I thought it was just a passing thing, but it's been lasting for quite awhile. Today he became very anxious, and started to cry. He told me that he dreams about our old home at night, and he just "wants to go home", which made ME want to cry. I would hate to think that he just thinks of this house as temporary. Our old house was bigger, he said he wants a "bigger habitat".....
He's pretty good at coming to resolutions on his own. Today he had a pretty good one. He asked for his tent. At the old house, for a good part of his younger years, we had a tent pitched in one room (usually our main family room) or another. He would fill it with pillows and blankets and spend the day in there. I think that having the tent up was his way of bring the old house into our new one. So out I went to the garage to find the tent, we cleared some space in the exercise room, filled it with his fish pillows (don't ask..) blankets, and his beanbag chair....and he's been content ever since.
Friday, January 25, 2013
I remember quite a long time ago, reading an article about autism, and in it the author made a comment that has never left me. Unfortunately, I can't for the life of me remember what article it was, as a mom of a kid with autism, I can't even begin to calculate how many books, articles, television clips, utube videos etc. I have watched on the subject. So if these are your words, please let me know, so I can give you proper credit. In the meantime, I shall paraphrase....
"Imagine how different it would feel, when you are sitting in your doctor's office, anxiously awaiting to hear why your child is acting the way they are....imagine if the doctor said to you "Congratulations! Your child has autism!"
Back when Limefreckle Jr. was diagnosed, at the tender age of 18 months (actually, he was officially diagnosed at 2, but at 18 months we started the process) I remember feeling completely shell shocked. I really didn't know very much about Autism, Dustin Hoffman's character in "Rain Man" was pretty much what I expected Autism to be. I was told that Limefreckle Jr. "possibly" had what is known as PDD-NOS. Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified". It was a brief doctor's visit, I had been referred to a Developmental Pediatrician, who turned out to be a wonderful doctor, but that first visit was scary, I'm not gonna lie! He basically said "this is what I think it is.....here is some information, come back in 6 months..." and off we went into the world.....a brand new world I knew nothing about!
It was a scary time. People around us had tons of advice, some not so helpful. There was an urgency from some, that we had to DO something......Early Intervention is the key, don't you know, and we must start that immediately! I remember telling myself so many times...."he's the same little boy he was the day before you walked into that Doctor's office....he hasn't changed, your perspective has.."
Imagine if the doctor had instead said "congratulations, your child has Autism! You are in for one wild ride, hold onto your seat!"
It's not been an easy ride, that's for sure! The earlier years were the hardest, the meltdowns, the difficulties fitting in. But the harder part to deal with was external......the judgements and opinions from other people. The difficulties obtaining the right services and interventions that would help him. There's lots to choose from out there.....some good, some not so good. There are also a lot of people out there the purport to be experts in the field. They aren't all......or at least, in my opinion, they weren't experts on MY son. They had book knowledge. They had read a lot. But when it came right down to it, they didn't know any better than me why Limefreckle Jr. was behaving the way he was, or how we should go about dealing with said behaviours. I quickly learned that if you put your faith in the wrong "expert" you will be sadly disappointed. Some of these experts painted a very bleak future, and I later realized that was because they really didn't know HOW to help him, or exactly WHAT the problem was...but better to focus on the worst case scenario, rather than be honest, and admit that they don't know!
He's now 11, almost 12. We are still immersed in the world of Autism, but it's a much happier, much calmer time. We have finally found experts that actually KNOW him, and understand him, and allow him to be who he is! He's thriving....the future is bright......and it all happened in HIS own good time. I don't regret any of the interventions that we tried, but if I could change anything, it would be to have given myself a little more credit, and to understand that I'm as much an expert on Limefreckle Jr. than anyone else. I think I've gotten better at that. As the years went by, I learned to trust my gut, and if something wasn't working, don't waste time on it.....accept that it isn't going to work for our son. There are SO many different ways to approach learning for any child......not all Autistic children are the same, and they aren't all going to learn the same. Once I realized that I needed to find the right way for Limefreckle Jr. to learn, not try to pigeon hole him into a spot that other people felt was right for him, everything all came together.
I wonder if I had felt that the Autism diagnosis wasn't something to be feared, but rather something to be embraced, if I would have been a little more relaxed during those early years! Imagine if his diagnosis was viewed as something to be proud of, rather than something to be feared. How would the world be different? How would the external forces look upon him? Would that have an effect on his outcome? Hard to say, but it's an interesting concept!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
If you are linked up to Erin or Alex and that is how you've come by my blog today, check my post yesterday to find out a little bit more about me and my journey. This is my first link up with "Weigh-In Wednesday", and I'm hoping to get to know all the other bloggers that are linking up, and to make some new friends, to help me on this weight loss journey.
This week I LOST 4.3 LBS!! I gained 4.8 over the Christmas holidays, I took 2 weeks off of Weight Watchers, I didn't track, and I didn't follow the plan very well. I ate too many cookies, drank too much wine, and basically completely fell off the wagon. I'm so happy that it only took me one week to get back on track. Total weight loss since I started back at Weight Watchers on November 30, 2012 is 8.4 pounds.
I meet with my personal trainer twice a week, for a one hour session, and I go to hot yoga and hot Pilate's when I can on the days I have free. This past week Limefreckle Jr. and I went on a hike for an hour, a great way to earn extra points! Plus our labradoodle Rufus loves it too!
My goal this week is to get more hot yoga sessions in......if I could lose weight JUST doing hot yoga, I would go every single day, but I've learned I need a little more intensity in my life.....so I see my trainer. He's a great motivator, and I think weight training is vital to firming things up, so although it's not my favourite way to burn energy.....I push through it. I look around the gym, watch other members doing boot camps, and wish I had their enthusiasm for working out...but so far, I haven't caught it. I much prefer to sweat it out in the hot room, and exercise my mind as well as my body. The mind body connection in yoga can't be beat! Maybe as I slim down, it will get easier to do the more intense exercises, and maybe a bootcamp might be in my future. But for now, this seems to be working.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I've been following a couple of new blogs recently, I've been seeking out weight loss blogs since the New Year, and I've really enjoyed getting to know Erin, Alex , Holly and Mama Laughlin. I realize that I really enjoy reading other people's stories, hearing about their struggles. It helps to know that I'm not alone in this battle with the bulge. And I decided, that if I'm FINALLY going to win this battle, then I need to get real....I need to REALLY dedicate myself to this fight.....so it's about to get a whole lot more real up in here....I'm going to put my journey out there for the world and the Internet to read.....I'm going to take a leap and see if blogging through this journey is the key to helping me finally attain all that has seemed so elusive in the past. The future will see.....but I plan to commit to this, I'm going to join Erin and Alex each Wednesday with Weigh In Wednesdays. I'm hoping that by putting it out there, by putting "pen to paper" (or fingers to keyboard) that it will help me on my journey. So here's my story, the whole ugly truth.......
I joined Weight Watchers WAY back in my mid 20's, probably around 1990 or so.....(I'm 48 if you are trying to do the math!) Back then I had about 25 pounds to lose, and I did so pretty effortlessly, and I achieved lifetime status. I don't remember EXACTLY what my start weight was, but my goal, which I reached, was 135 lbs. I'm 5'8".....that was pretty thin, the thinnest I've ever been in my adult life. This is the ONLY time I've ever worn a 2 piece bathing suit, and probably one of the only times I've ever allowed myself to be photographed in a bathing suit!
But the ugly truth is......I STILL FELT FAT! My boyfriend at the time kept encouraging me to hit 120 pounds. I have no idea where that "ideal weight" came from, it was just some arbitrary number that I guess made him feel good .... he wanted his girlfriend to be that weight. I was never happy at the AMAZING weight of 135, I always felt "less than" because I wasn't able to attain that ultimate prize of 120. You know that saying "I wish I weighed what I did when I thought I was fat?" ya..THAT!
The next record I have of my weight (because I've joined and quit Weight Watchers at least 11 times since then) is May 1996 -- the year I got married. Our wedding was in October, I weight about 160 lbs. AGAIN, IF I ONLY WEIGHED WHAT I DID WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS FAT!! Not happy at my wedding, felt fat.....yada, yada, yada
|Mr. Limefreckle and I at our wedding in 1996|
Fast forward to the birth of Limefreckle Jr.....April 2001, I weighed 208 about 3 weeks after his birth. I stayed with Weight Watchers pretty consistently for the next 16 months or so. I was a big time gym rat. I discovered that if I went to the gym every day, they would TAKE Limefreckle Jr. in the daycare for 2 WHOLE HOURS so that I could have a great workout and a SHOWER!! It was heaven! I had a personal trainer, I made some fantastic friends, other stay at home Mom's on the same journey as me.....I joined a group and we trained to run a 10K......and I weighed 165 lbs, closer to my wedding weight (at which I still felt fat). At least I was a little more settled, and I felt like I was committed to working out, and I was on my way to achieving my goals.
Then I got pregnant. And I started to bleed during my pregnancy.....and all activity came to a screeching halt........and I lost the baby. That was the end of my running career. I have never ran again, except for brief little spurts on the treadmill, only for moments at a time. I just can't seem to find any pleasure in it....Although truth be told, I didn't REALLY enjoy running, I just did it because everyone else was, and the 10K was a good goal to work towards. After my miscarriage (this was the second one for me, I had one before Limefreckle Jr.) whenever I would try to run I HATED it, and I gave up. I'm not sure if in my mind, I'm associating running with that time of my life when I lost the baby, quite possibly that is what is happening, and that's why running brings forth such bad feelings inside of me.
Around that same time, Limefreckle Jr. was diagnosed with Autism. The next few years are literally a blur to me.....they were filled with worry, doubt, epic tantrums and meltdowns, so much stuff that I never thought I'd ever face. My weight continued to climb as I ate and drank for comfort, trying to escape the challenges in my life, and comfort eating seemed to bring me comfort...at least in the short term.
I gained, and lost a little year after year; hit 176 in June/04, then 204 in June/08, then 219 in February 2011. By Spring of 2011, I weighed my all time high of 225 lbs. In August 2011, Mr. Limefreckle started training with a new trainer, so I decided to join him, and to follow the diet plan the trainer recommended to him. By April 2012 I was down to 185 lbs. I hadn't felt that good in years!
I thought that I was on my way I had conquered my problems, that this time was going to be different.....but then I hurt my back, I stopped training....and the weight crept back on.
So now I'm back. I started back to weekly meetings and weigh ins on November 30, 2012. My starting weight this time was 215.2 lbs. I look back over the years and feel so out of control. It's been almost 2 decades of yo-yo'ing....and it's ENOUGH! Not to mention that I can't even IMAGINE what this kind of yo-yo'ing has done to my metabolism, and my health. But I'm not going to pretend that I'm mostly concerned about my health. OF COURSE that is a big consideration....I want to be healthy, I want to have energy, I want to live longer....but mainly, I want to look good in a pair of skinny jeans.....bottom line.
So tomorrow I'm start linking up to Weigh in Wednesdays, and we'll see how it goes. I'm hoping that this community will help me to FINALLY achieve the weight that I want to be (which, by the way, I'm not exactly sure about just yet!) I know that I'm not aiming for my original goal weight of 135. Along my Weight Watchers journey I changed my goal to 155. I'll aim for that right now, and see how it goes.
Monday, January 21, 2013
I saw this money challenge on Pinterest and Facebook recently, and because I've been looking for a challenge for the new year, decided I would give it a whirl. I'm doubling my deposits, putting $2 in the first week, then $2 plus $2 and so on and so forth, because I want to be a little more aggressive with my saving....but this one looks like it would be a little less painful, and still gives you a tidy sum at the end of the year.
You can find many groups on Facebook that are participating in this, I joined a group, and one of the members suggested adding all of your loose change at the end of the week as well. This is something I often do, keep my change in a piggy bank till it fills up, but not on any regular basis. I'm going to add all my change in my wallet every week when I do my deposit (on Mondays).
So if you are looking to save a little by the end of the year, why not join me in this challenge?
Friday, January 18, 2013
|image found via|
Last Friday, I went back......to face the music. I had gained 4.8 pounds. OK, I faced it. I stayed for a meeting. I discovered that the leader that I had started to really connect with was no longer working there. UGH! But I persevered. I liked the replacement leader, and think that she will be able to help me through this process just fine. I felt like I was back on track.
I tracked everyday, but truth be told, when I went to my brother's this past weekend to visit with him and some cousins, I DIDN'T count everything that went into my mouth. Some cheese and crackers snuck in there without me knowing.....a glass of wine was consumed. But I got back on track again. And finished the week on a good note.
I weighed in yesterday, instead of my usual Friday, because once again, Limefreckle Jr. has a day off school, and I wasn't going to be in the area. I briefly flirted with the idea of just skipping this week, and weighing in next week. But I didn't, I went, and as it was noon, realized that a 12:15 meeting was about to happen, so I stayed for that.....and I LOST 4.3 POUNDS! Almost took off everything I put on during the holidays! I was so happy, I feel like I'm back on track, I realize that if I don't let things slip, I can catch the "oops" moments and move on, move forward......
I feel this is a small victory!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Lately I've seen a few bloggers answering A-Z questions, sharing a little bit about themselves with their readers. Today while spending a ridiculous amount of time on Pinterest, I stumbled across this list of questions, and decided this is how I will tell YOU all a little bit about me.
|you can find it here|
Monday, January 7, 2013
One way that I've found to help the most on my most recent Weight loss journey, is to PLAN, PLAN, PLAN. I've always been somewhat of a meal planner, often sitting down on a Sunday and going through my favourite recipes, making a grocery list, writing out my favourite meals for the week. Unfortunately, as the week wore on, I'd probably only really cook 2 or 3 of those designated meals. Once 5 o'clock hit, it often became much easier to make something simple, snack, order out, anything but cook the planned meal. My husband is rarely home for dinner, and Limefreckle Jr. exists on a standard diet of chicken strip and smiley fries (don't judge...it's an autism thing that I haven't figured out how to change!) so I'm often left to my own devices at meal time.
Recently, I discovered a great website called 5 dinners 1hour that takes the meal planning out of the equation. But that wasn't my problem, planning the meals was easy.....it was all the prep work that I would have to do come 5 o'clock that would derail me. Well this plan changed all that for me. The prepwork happens once a week, and takes only one hour.
Over the years I've dabbled in freezer cooking, make ahead meals etc. but never been a big fan. I don't mind eating some things that have been frozen, but prefer fresh. And this method of cooking is just that. Everything stays in the fridge, and is completely chopped, diced, spliced and ready to go! Some weeks there are slow cooker meals, giving me a reason to pull out that slow cooker that I put on my wedding registry 16 years ago but never used...and hey, who knew, but I like slow cooking!
You can choose different meal plans at 5 dinners 1 hour, I've chosen the Clean Eating page, as I'm working on weight loss, and I'm not going to lie, not every meal has been a big hit for me....but on the whole, I'm enjoying it very much, and it's helping me to have 5 meals a week ready and waiting.
If executing your planned meal has been a problem for you like it was for me, I would definitely give this plan a try. It's very inexpensive, probably the money I've saved on last minute grocery trips or ordering out has paid for the plan and more!
You can also just visit her blog to find tasty recipes etc. for free. I started out just following her blog, and most of the recipes she posted seemed pretty tasty, that's what made me decide to give it a try. I sit down once a week and make a grocery list, then I enter each of that weeks recipes in the Recipe Builder on Weight Watchers online. It takes some time, but it helps to determine the points in each recipe. Going forward, I probably won't continue to get new recipes each week, I'll do this for a few months, and then build a one month rotation customized to my likes and dislikes. But this has been a fantastic tool to get me started!
Let me know if you decide to try it, and what YOUR favourite recipes are!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
There's nothing I love more than the new year. A new start, everything seems fresh. I took a walk on the evening of January 1st, it's cold up here in Canada, and the smells of the fresh night air took me back immediately. Isn't it weird how smell can conjure up so many memories? It wasn't a particular memory that came to me, but a lifetime of memories, of walking in the cold winter air, of that feeling that anything can happen....it's a new year, so many possibilities!
I started out the new year with the usual resolutions floating around my head. Lose weight is always first and foremost.....as usual, this past year has been a struggle for me, I started out the year with a loss of around 40 lbs, but as the year settled in, old habits settled back, I gained over 20 of those back. Just before the holiday I rejoined Weight Watchers, and hope to get those 20 lbs back under control, so that I can continue on my weight loss journey. I've decided to use my blog to help chronicle that journey, hopefully you will join me!
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